Sometimes all we ever want to hear are the happy endings. We live lies; lives. Filled with glamour and facades, covering the confusion that may lie beneath it all.
We cover up. Dare we let others see … feel … those moments of deep suffering.
We all fear judgment; the burning eyes of others piercing through us. Fearing they may see our inadequacies. How we aren't always perfect.
So, we invest our lives in putting on layers and layers of ideas and concepts. And, we hide ourselves behind it all; letting others only see the things which are acceptable or likable.
And we suffer when we do not meet the standards we set for ourselves or that society has made us set for ourselves.
Why do we fear to reveal our insecurities, our weakness, our imperfections? Is it because of our pride? Or is it just a child like wanting of love combined with our fear of being loved less at the expense of being found unworthy?
I have watched countless people I love suffer silently. Their souls consumed by a dark madness, most of it driven by the inability to achieve ego driven charades. I watched as they spent their lives trying to prove to some absent person their worth.
Helplessly in love with them, my soul would cry out that I loved them for immaterial intangible reasons. In my eyes they were whole.
Watching such suffer. I grew disillusioned by this materialistic world. Spending lives to maintain a standard.
So I began to reject it all. And found solace in things in which status did not matter. I embraced my being beyond academic credentials, employment and nice clothes. And, in this bare state, I found myself and beautiful heart-filled companions. We sat on plots of grass closed our eyes and emptied our minds of all these stupid thoughts. I re-learned to be.
To find those that love your true authentic self, you have to sacrifice all the layers we hide behind. Stand bare before the audience and see who accepts you. We need to embrace the things that make us suffer, it's what leads you to the things that matter. We need to speak it without fear. Those who deserve your company will stand by you. Hold you and push you and ultimately help you find yourself again.
We need to stare shame- or our fear of it - in the eyes. Sometimes if you stare for long enough your warrior will awake. Nothing can hold us back. No status, no judgmental stare. We can transcend it all. We are more than this body and these silly ideas. We are absolute, endless possibility.